Experiencing God - Moving To Stillness (Nada) 6

“To Reach satisfaction in all

Desire satisfaction in nothing.

To come to possess all

Desire the possession of nothing.

To arrive at being all

Desire to be nothing.

To come to the knowledge of all

Desire the knowledge of nothing.
“The Ascent of Mount Carmel” The Collective Works of St. John of the Cross

When I first read these words of St. John of the Cross over thirty five years ago, they rang of a truth, as have many similar expressions that I've heard over the years.  I was drawn to them as if they contained some deep revelation that would change my life.  However, at that time, I must admit, I did not have a very deep understanding of what they meant.  And for certain, I was not able to incorporate them fully into my life.  But reflecting on these words and many others like them, I have been led to an experience of grace that would exceed anything that I could possibly imagine at that time. What do these words mean to you?

There is a story of a ten-year-old boy who wanted to catch a Monarch butterfly.  These butterflies frequently were found in the field back of his house, fluttering from flower to flower.  So this morning, he set out with the intention of catching one.  As he walked in the field, he saw one at a distance, and he quietly approached the area where he saw it.  But before he could get close enough, the butterfly took off.  Again and again he pursued the colorful butterfly, and again and again, it would take off as soon as he approached it.  He tried outrunning the butterfly but with no success as it was quick to notice the boy’s advance, and dart out of harm’s way.  After an hour of chasing, the boy grew very tired, so he laid down on the grass to rest.  As he rested he closed his eyes and became very still.  When he opened his eyes, he was surprised to find a Monarch butterfly gently resting on the sleeve of his jacket.

This simple story begins to explain the meaning of the often-quoted words of St. John of the Cross:

“To come to possess all, desire to possess nothing.”

We are all searching for those things in life that will provide what we believe is necessary for our happiness and well-being. The direction we take is most often preceded by a desire for something, a desire for someone who will fill our needs at that particular moment.  It always seems to begin with a desire, and it is the desire that moves us in the direction of our choice.  But I've discovered that some of the most important things we need and want cannot be obtained using the conventional approach.  This conventional approach involves our chasing or grasping after them, to take possession of them.  These things of which I am speaking are very elusive, like the butterfly.  They are things that we cannot take possession of by grasping them and holding onto them.  And yet, they are things that are very real and very important to us.  They are things that are life enhancing. They are things like peace and joy and love. In our search for these elusive needs, we must grow to realize that they cannot be attained following the conventional approach to acquiring things.  But they can become a part of our lives. 

People like St. John of the Cross have taught me that by simply being still, with my eyes closed, with my mind quiet, not desiring anything, a space is created within me where those elusive qualities of peace, joy, love, and yes, even God, become very real.  They gently come and rest in the centre of my being bringing with them the very thing the heart desires.  They come, not as something to be acquired and possessed, but as gift.

“To come to possess all, desire to possess nothing.”

Is this not part of God’s plan put together so brilliantly to bring us into relationship with Him and with others?  But it is a part of God’s plan that is often hidden, particularly from those whose spotlight is constantly focused on “self”.  It’s in loving, that we are loved. It’s in giving joy to another and we ourselves receive joy.  

By being gently and quietly attentive to the stillness and silence within, we mysteriously begin to open to the experience of God love at the centre of our being. We are no longer chasing, grasping: We are waiting.  Through this stillness and silence, we begin to shed the barriers and obstacles that prevent this love from being experienced.   In mystery, through silence and stillness, God’s divine plan begins to unfold in our lives as we discover God’s hidden truths.