Experiencing God - A Christian Path 2

O Lord, take me as your disciple.

Guide me, illuminate me, sanctify me.

Be my God, be my guide.

Wherever you lead me, I will go.

What ever you forbid me, I will renounce.

Whatever you command me, in your strength I will do.

Take me then into the fullness of the truth.

  

Adolescents soon grow into young adults and they become restless to settle into a life of their own.  It is a time of dreaming about possibilities because all of life is before them.  The journey towards independence entails a breaking free from a life largely dependent on parents, not only for basic needs, but also ideals and beliefs.  For many families strongly connected to a faith tradition, this is often a time of disappointment and struggle.  Over the years, I have often heard the prayers of concerned parents asking that their children return to the church in which they were raised.  Often parents feel they have failed in passing on their faith practice when they see their adult children seemingly reject all that they have been taught.  They often describe their children as falling away from the church, or getting caught up in the world.  And, of course, young adults, who are experiencing this new taste of freedom, and the desire to begin their own life, are often resentful of the many reminders of the importance of going to church.    Is this not the time when we must allow our adult children to discover and practice their own faith?  Instead of seeing the other as falling away, would it not be more realistic to see this as the time when the adult child is beginning to discover, live and claim his or her own faith? 

On looking back at the beginnings of my own conversion to Christianity, I am left with many positive memories of this somewhat confusing time, and I count my blessings for the love and acceptance that I received during a time that could have been filled with concern and division.  My situation was different than that described above.  I was not raised in any faith practice.  In fact, if anything, a dependence on God was looked upon more as a crutch or an escape from reality rather than something of a positive influence.  Although these concepts were not strongly instilled, they were nevertheless subtly present, and they were views that I also openly expressed during my adolescent years.  I recall also that these views left me with a sense of superiority over those whom I felt were caught up in unrealistic and unexplained beliefs.  So I did begin my working life as a young adult with a certain arrogance and ignorance which, in all probability, is not uncommon for those who are just beginning to experience life, but feel they know more than they really do.  As not to present my early venturing into adulthood  too critically, my parents did instill within me a conviction that all people deserved to be treated respectfully regardless of there station in life. Life on a farm certainly taught, by example, the need we have for the people around us.

There is a connectiveness among neighbors that is much more evident in a farming community than in the city.  And this deep understanding of interdependence leads to a type of generosity and respect for others that might otherwise be obscured by a more independent life style.  Therefore, even though I carried with me a disconnection with the concepts of faith, faith practice, and God, I was blessed with a gentle acceptance of others, a respect for their beliefs, and a sense of the connection that existed between them and myself. 

One is always surprised with those special experiences of life that lead to a conversion of attitudes and beliefs, particularly those that are deeply en-grained.  But most often, there is a depth that lies hidden below one’s consciousness that rises up to become a new reality.  This certainly happened to me in relation to matters of faith and faith experience.  It came about mostly by observing the faith qualities that I saw in others who became important to me.  These faith qualities were not expressed to me, but lived out in their lives in a free and spontaneous manner.  They caught my attention, and later my desire. 

For two years in my late teens and early twenties, while working and studying, I boarded with a family in the South End of Halifax, a Catholic family I grew to love and admire.  This was perhaps my first exposure to parents who practiced their Catholic faith, and at the same time, did what was necessary to share that faith with their five children.  I heard them speak about God in the way that parents would speak to young children.  I saw the rushing around on Sunday to prepare five active children for church.  I grew in appreciation of their commitment to share their faith.  I admired their freedom and spontaneity in faith expression that came out in so many subtle little ways in our day-to-day encounters.  All in all, I thought, that if a life of faith could make visible such admirable qualities, then something very good has and can happen from living such a life.

I also made good friends with a fellow boarder who was in full time attendance at St. Mary’s University. His name was Ron. He was my age, and also a Catholic who practiced his faith.  His friendship meant a lot to me and I admired his strength of character, his outgoing personality, and his friendly accepting mannerisms.  During the day our paths did not cross too much since he was attending university and I was working.  But we did meet daily at the important time of sharing meals.  It was in the sharing of meals together that our friendship and mutual respect for each other grew.  On Sunday evenings, I noticed that he would often return to the university.  After weeks of observing this, I asked him what was going on at the university on a Sunday evening.  He told me that he attended a folk mass there with some of his fellow students.  He asked if I would like to join him.  I accepted his invitation. 

The folk mass instantly appealed to me with its up-beat music, homilies directed towards young people, and explanations of the liturgy that seemed directed just to me.  I experienced a sense of community among these young university students, and enjoyed the friendly hospitality and their welcoming manners.  You might say I felt at home. 

At this same time, I began to date a girl who would later become my wife.  When Mary Anne finished high school, she had entered the Sisters of Charity at Mount St. Vincent Mother-house in Halifax.  However, after further discernment, she decided to pursue a different path.   By coincidence, she ended up working in the same office as myself.  We instantly became friends, and after a year of working together, we began to date.  Mary Anne was firmly rooted in her Catholic faith, and followed it with a deep conviction.  I admired this conviction and wished secretly that I could be as convinced as herself of the importance of having a faith in God.  We openly shared our own unique experiences and views on life, and the seeds of desire to share, not only her life with me, but also her faith experience, begin to germinate in somewhat sensitive soil.

It was through these initial encounters with those who practiced their faith that I began to desire to share in what they had. Through this desire, I began to pray for faith.  The act of praying would itself suggest a belief in God.  Perhaps faith had already taken birth and I did not realize it.  However, after praying for a very short time, faith became real to me, and with it, a desire to be a part of the Catholic Church.  I asked my friend Ron about how to join the Catholic Church.  He was excited about the prospect, and took the trouble to introduce me to a priest at the university, a Jesuit by the name of Father Pianfetti.  Father Pianfetti was a quiet and saintly man who instantly agreed to take on the task of providing the required instructions.  On June 24, 1967, with Ron as my Godfather, and Mary Anne at my side for support, I was immersed into the waters of baptism, and become a member of the Catholic faith community.