"If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even their own life--such a person cannot be my disciple."
Gospel of Luke
On the first reading of this Gospel, Jesus' message seems overly harsh. The word "hate" when used in our English language is interpreted as the opposite to love, so we automatically conclude that Jesus is saying that we cannot love those closest to us. If we examine the Biblical commentary for the meaning of this passage, we discover that the word "hate", as used in the context of this Gospel reading, means "to prefer less". In other words, put God first.
I would even suggest that to effectively love those closest to us (that is to know and to act upon what is best) we must first be deeply rooted in God, and to seek God's will and direction in the choices we make.
The radical Gospel message of the cross first requires us to take that difficult step of relinquishing "self" in favor of surrendering to do God's will; to prefer less self and others. "Father, if possible, let this cup pass me by, but your will, not mine, be done." Jesus' act of submission to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane proved to be the greatest act of love that changed the course of history, and opened the way to reconciliation and peace for all mothers, fathers, children, friends etc. Jesus' act of love comes at a very great cost to "self". It is only in our acts of surrender to God that we can effectively love those who are entrusted to our care.
St. Paul's letter to the Philippians emphasizes this as well. Paul asks us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who is at work in us, enabling us to act in accordance with His will. It really is silly for us to live our lives in contradiction to God's plan. It's like pretending to be something we are not. We can still pretend, but it does not make it real, and because it is not real, little flows from it.
St. Paul says in Philippians: "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe".
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