Experiencing God - Choices 164

"As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."
Book of Joshua

 The above scripture quote is about choices. In the book of Joshua, the Israelites are settled in their new home land after wandering in the desert for some forty years. They are getting comfortable in their new surroundings, and enjoying their new found stability and prosperity. Perhaps they are becoming self-sufficient. Joshua, their leader, calls them together and presents a challenge. “If you are unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve.”

 Joshua is quite definitive about his challenge. Here are your alternatives. Now make up your minds. Decide. And he continues with the well- known quote that we are all familiar with: “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

 This challenge caused the people to rethink their roots, to look at where they came from, to reconnect with the God who was with them in their best times and in their worst. They remembered again the God who guided them out of slavery to their place of security, who held them together during their many struggles. So they, with Joshua, choose to continue to follow and serve the God of their ancestors.   

Do you have that experience in your life of God who has always been with you, somehow connected with you in the decisions you have made, somehow providing what was needed by you during your times of difficulty, being their at that every moment?  

As I was reflecting on this reading, the question that came to mind was: Would Joshua’s challenge work today?  

Today, we live in a culture, a society that has developed a certain pride in the right to make our own decisions. There are so many voices out there that are competing for our attention. As a result, we have grown excessively strong on our rights to make our own individual choice, and we are not so much influenced by choices made by others. The emphasis seems to be on self-determination. I have the right to decide what is best for me and the direction my life. Regrettably, something may have been lost as a result of this. We may have lost our sensitivity as to how our choices affect others, and, as a result, therefore, creating more confusion in our relationships with one another.  

I read recently of a student who asked his spiritual counsellor:  "Why is there so much suffering and conflict these days between men and women in their family relationships?"  The counsellor answered: "It's quite simple.  People today have given to much important to the exercise of their personal right and freedom to make their choice, and this is spilling over into relationships." He continued: "Their rights tend to be expressed too strongly, too extremely, and often too superficially without giving consideration to how they are affecting others. As a result, there is increased dissatisfaction in relationships. The love in a marriage relationship, he continued, is for the purpose of making two people into one, but our insistence on our personal individual rights and self- determination make this almost impossible to accomplish. You need to make time and space for the other person." 

I believe you will agree that we all wish and need to make our own decisions as to what we feel is best for us, but how do we create a proper balance in determining what is best for us and the ones we love?  There’s a statement made by the Jesuit, Fr. Matthew Linn that answers it best for me. He says:

 “The final test for hearing God’s will is whether the living out of my decisions brings life to, not only me, but to the others in my life".  Do the choices you make bring life, not only to you, but to the others in your life?   

Many today would argue that St. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians is out-of-date for today’s culture, but I believe the meaning of the message he is trying to convey is similar to this balance that we are struggling to create. “Wives to be subject to their husbands as they are to the Lord, and husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved His Church."

I am more closely connected with my wife than any other person, I love her very much and I know she loves me too, but I have to admit that the word “submit” has ever been a household word expressed during our forty-four years of marriage; but the balance we seek in the decisions we make are seen in the context of our faith and the power of the spirit to help guide us in making these decisions.  There is a place for church, its teaching and a practice of strong faith to create the proper balance between our right to decide and our need for each other. When we ask the question: does this choice bring life, not only to me, but to the other in my life, we seem to fair all right.

There’s an old but beautiful Buddhist expression: “All the unhappiness in the world come from those who are trying to find happiness only for themselves. All the happiness in the world comes from people who are trying to make other people happy." This has to do with “giving attention”.   And whether that person is your spouse, or a stranger, when we “give attention” or "pay attention", we are making them our neighbor in the true sense of the gospel message.