"No matter who you are, if you pass judgement, you have no excuse. In judging others, you condemn yourself, since you behave no differently from those you judge.
Romans
Kenneth, a sales manager, first started to see a work psychologist because of marital problems. His attitude from the beginning was that to be a boss meant having an iron fisted control over his staff. The turnover in his department was tremendous, and those employees who remained tended to be the least productive.
Ken had attended various management development seminars, but said he hated that "touchy-feely stuff. He fought making any changes in his domineering style until his wife took their eight year old son and moved out. That same week, he was given a critical performance review at work, and was in danger of losing his job. Facing the loss of both family and job, Kenneth summoned the courage to visit a clinical psychologist to get some help. His wife, sensing a softening in his position, agreed to join him for the therapy sessions.
It was a hard struggle for Ken to face his pain, rage and insecurity that fostered his need for taking such a strong position on control. But with his world slowly falling apart, he came to realize that he needed to make a change. He hoped that by learning better ways of interacting with his family and fellow employees, things could be made better.
As a result, Ken started to go out of his way to encourage each of his employees, and to find ways to help them in their work. He changed his approach from overpowering control to facilitating and encouraging their accomplishments. His image as a boss changed. And his employees grew to not only respect but support him in his initiatives. Ken's approach changed from the old attitude of: "Why the hell didn't you do better?" to "What can I do to help you in your job?"
The clinical psychologist from the US who wrote this true story also noted something else of real interest. He said that the same defences that cause barriers in the relationships between ourselves and others, also keep us disconnected from the sacred. When these barriers are broken through, and the real self emerges, (the self that is non-judgemental, empathetic, compassionate and forgiving) then a new sense of connection and concern for the sacred often surfaces.
The letter written by St. Paul to the Romans also alludes to this reality. The problem with critically passing judgement is that you automatically create a barrier between "self" and the person being condemned. St. Paul says: "No matter who you are, if you pass judgement, you have no excuse. In judging others, you condemn yourself, since you behave no differently from those you judge.
In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus is saying: "Woe to you lawyers, for you load people with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves do not lift a finger to ease them." This is not a condemnation of lawyers, but anyone who is inclined to past judgement on others and do nothing to help ease their burden.
It is difficult not to judge. We see something in another that we find offensive, or they do something that goes against our rules, or they hurt us, our first impulse is often to past judgement on the person for what they have done. If you feel that way once in a while, don't beat yourself up. Welcome to the club. But we must come to realize, like Kenneth, that there is no value in it. It only makes us ineffective in our subsequent dealing with the situation with our family or employees. And it crowds out the power of grace that has the means to work in our lives to help deal with the situation at hand.
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