“When you fast, do not look sullen like the hypocrites, for they make their faces unattractive so that people will see them fasting. I tell you the truth, they have their reward. When you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others when you are fasting, but only to your Father who is in secret. And your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you.
Gospel of Matthew
We've all attended weddings where the bride and groom are asked to make their marriage vows to each other. In the presence of family and friends, and in the presence of God, promises are made to be faithful to each other in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, in times of joy and sorrow. The couple promise to live with each other, respect each other, cherish each other for as long as they both shall live. These vows are an expression of unconditional love, and if you look at them closely, they contain the three ascetic actions of the religious life found in the Gospel of prayer, fasting and almsgiving.
Prayer implies many things three of which are: (1) a speaking too, (2) a listening too, and (3) a being with. And perhaps the purest form of prayer is "being with".
Fasting implies the giving up of what one may find personally pleasurable, for the sake of the other. In unconditional love, we share both the joys and sorrows, we are faithful during good times and bad times.
Almsgiving involves the sharing from our abundance with the one or ones who we love or have less. Unconditional love sees all as gift, and desires most of all to share that gift with another.
Why did Jesus single out prayer, fasting, and almsgiving for His disciples? It is because these were seen as the key signs of a faithful person, the three great pillars on which a relationship of unconditional love is built. This is not only true in our Christian faith, but applies to all the great religions of the world.
If one or both of the couples in a marriage did not enter the unconditional love relationship with the proper intention; if they were forced or pressured into the relationship, did it out of fear, or didn't have the capacity for meeting such promises; then the marriage could be declared null and void. Jesus also warned his disciples that if we pray, fast or give alms; in other words perform the three great pillars on which an unconditional love relationship is expressed; without the proper intention, then it is not really not a valid expression of the intentions of which they represent . These actions which are meant for us to discover the fullness of life, truth and beauty, love and joy, becomes only a charade leading to little or no fruit.
So if we do these things for self-seeking purposes, in order to look good, or seek praise from others, then they serve little or no purpose.
What we seek in prayer, fasting and almsgiving is communion with God. St. Augustine wrote: "When I am completely united to you, there will be no more sorrow or trials; entirely full of you, my life will be complete."
There's something deep within the heart of every person that desires to be united in unconditional love with the One who is beyond human comprehension. We express that desire in our vows of unconditional love in a marriage. We complete that desire through out acts of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving given with a pure intention of being part of God's unfolding mystery.
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