"Lord, teach us to pray; it's been a long and cold December kind of day.
With our hearts and hands all busy in our private little wars;
We stand and watch each other now, from separate shores: We lose the way.
I need to know today the way things should be in my head.
I need to know for once now the things that I should have said.
I've got to learn to walk around as if I were not dead.
I've got to find a way to learn to live."
Song by Joe Wise
During my thirty-five years of working in an office, I've had many performance reviews, and I've heard many words that supposedly described my skills and abilities. I'll just mention a few good ones: knowledgeable, confident, timely, organized, efficient, team player, adjusts well to change, works well with others.
Since these were the qualities that were emphasized, these were the qualities that you worked on to develop. If you look at them closely, they are all intellectual or skill-set qualities.
There are other qualities that I've never seen in a performance report: merciful, forgiving, humble, loving, peaceful, gentle, generous, patient, kind. It's as if these things were not important when it came to performance review time. Why? Work is principally about job performance and productivity.
So where do we learn about these other qualities, the "qualities of the heart"? Do we study about them from a textbook, or do we learn about them in another way?
If we examine Scripture readings, most emphasis is placed on the "qualities of the heart". In the book of Daniel, we see Daniel praying to God. "But may a contrite soul, a humble spirit be as acceptable to you as holocausts of rams and bullocks. May it be your will that we follow You wholeheartedly since those who put their trust in you will not be disappointed. Treat us gently, as You Yourself are gentle and merciful."
In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus tells Peter who asked Him how many times he must forgive a brother or sister who wronged him: "As often as seven? No Peter! Not seven, but seventy times seven."
Qualities of the heart are not skills but relational. You can't incorporate them in your life by reading from a textbook.
Our relatedness flows in three directions; relatedness with God, relatedness with ourselves, relatedness with others. We discover how important our relationships are when we begin to examine "qualities of the heart" for without them, they would not exist. We incorporate "qualities of the heart in our own lives as we experience them as free unconditional gifts from others and from God. Upon receiving them, the only way to retain their benefits is by giving them away. They are received from our parents, our loved ones, our friends, those who share out faith, and of course, abundantly from God.
So these are the places or schools where we practice and develop the qualities of the heart. And they have very little to do with efficiency, being organized, or even being knowledgeable.
Jesus says that we will be forgiven only to the extent that we ourselves forgive others, and I believe that is true. It is also true of the other "qualities of the heart" as well. But it's not because God is stingy about forgiving. It's because the qualities of the heart must be given away in order to be received. So the more we give away, the more we receive.
This is a hard lesson to learn because so much of what we see as important in the world works in reverse; we gain through acquiring.
"I need to know today the way things should be in my head". Joe Wise wrote his song "Lord Teach Us To Pray" because he was able to see that what he truly wanted could not be attained in the manner stressed by the world in which he lived. The song is about change. This change can only come about through our relationships with God, ourselves, and others.
Daniel emphasises a humble and contrite heart because these are the "qualities of the heart" that are necessary for change. I want to be more forgiving, more loving, more generous because I see that an abundant life lies in my moving in that direction. Are we going in the right direction?
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